– KDKK –

I haven’t been writing.

I have no excuse; I just didn’t want to.

I didn’t have the drive to write.

And – for that self, I am sorry.

I owe myself…

I owe myself time to write.

I owe myself time to relax and do what I love to do.

I have been putting everything else above writing, when I could have been writing as well as doing all of these other things.

But putting all that energy into other things sucked the rest of my energy dry.

I do however have some things to get off of my mind.

Have you ever felt like you lost the only good thing you’ve ever known?

Have you felt like things are not the same?

Things are starting to fade…

Right now, I’m going through so many emotions, but the emotion I feel the most is anger.

I don’t want to do anything but feel anger.

I just want to feel rage.

I want to throw things.

I want to break things.

I want to yell at people.

I want to choke people.

But I know I can’t.

I have held myself to so many high standards, I forgot who I really am.

How do I fix this?

Is this normal?

Do I continue on my own?

Do I ask for help?

Your help?

His help?

Her help?

Their help?

When screaming out for help doesn’t work, what other resolution do I turn to?

I want to make sure that I am okay.

I am truly and slowly forgetting who I am, and it hurts.

-Kayonia